I often reflect on my life and the demise of the world and it brings me to certain conclusions. It will never be as it once was and therefore I am too a different human being. My focus now in life must be survival and tolerance. My skin must grow thicker than ever before if I am to sustain both my sanity and self-preservation. The past is now my enemy, for it brings me to a longing I musn't rely on. The present is my daily challenge in which I either perservere or diminish. The future is the uncertainty that haunts my very hopes and dreams. It takes me to the reality that is now my nemesis. Has God failed us all? Does he hate us for all of our sins? Or, is he merely testing the very bain of humanity? Did we unknowningly fail him and now must deal with his wrath? I search deep within for answers only to find more questions. This world is not only new to me but at times frightening. Though, I am fortunate to have my brother by my side, I can sometime feel his fears and his anxiety through all of this. My faith withstanding I am lost and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on to my religion, my humanity, my consciousness, my state of being. I must put up a greater fight or lose to infinite desperation.